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2012-10-19 Crash Landing
It's a crisp fall day in the mountains. The sky is blue, the leaves remaining on the trees are brilliant colours, the ground is carpeted with fallen leaves that crunch underfoot. The fields in the distance are brown but patches of lush green remain in some valleys. It rained recently and the ground is soft. In the pale blue sky, the moon is a thin crescent barely visible and next to it something glitters like an early evening star. It is, however, slightly reddish to be the usual stars that might emerge early. If one watches long enough, it doesn't hold constant relative to the moon, either. It wavers, bobs, and grows brighter. Sam just wanted to get away from civilization. Away from people. Unfortnately, that's harder than it sounds when one has friends. He's trying not to be frustrated, pretending that he's on his own out here. He's crested a rise and is getting his bearings when he sees the glitter. Satellite, maybe. He can't shoot it from here so he has to wait. He tugs irritably at the necklace mostly hidden under his shirt and waits to see what comes. Nature. Spider-Girl has /issues/ with nature. It's all... nature-y. Just her luck that life keeps thrusting her smack dab into the middle of trees and bugs and... and /stuff/. Spider-Girl is at least sort-of-okay with the circumstances today. She's trailing along behind Sam -- yes, she is on a /nature hike/ in full costume, do not judge her. She perches in a tree a short ways from him, making a curious noise before following his gaze. Hm. Hmmmmm. "Fifty bucks says it's another one of Zen's friends," Spider-Girl calls towards Sam. She does not have fifty bucks. Deal with it. Why's Deadpool along? Screw you, that's why. He's Deadpool! He does crossover comics all the time. He's the crossover king. ‘’And since Marvel picked me as their poster child, everyone wants to do crossovers into /my/ series. I know, I know, it's like having Wolverine along. Except I'm way better smelling! And funnier. And better than Wolverine at whatever it is Wolverine does. Also, maybe I like nature hikes.’’ Seriously, though, Deadpool is either really bored, or has some really weird reason for tagging along on this hike. Because he just kind of popped out of nowhere and started following along. He's wearing his normal red costume, along with hiking boots and rolled down socks, cargo shorts, and a big backpacker's backpack. It looks like it's full of jerky and snackpacks. And a lot of ammunition. Also, for some reason, his entire ensemble of high-powered weapons, katanas, pistols, grenades, knives... uhh... and a bunch of other stuff. "I like Zen," he comments, popping a handful of Peanut M&Ms into his mouth and chewing noisily. "He's funny! Wish he could have stuck it out with the team. I think he just didn't have the backbone to do real work. You know- torchin' orphanages, and all that." Laura is in her element. This is what comes of taking a Feral Mutant out for nature walks. She keeps ranging outward and popping back. Like right now, she glides out of a pair of bushes with a quiet rustle, poking Deadpool's side. "Want a bullhorn? I think there's a sleeping bear the next mountian over that didn't hear that." Look at her, learning to snark. She's spending too much time with Anya. Rory Regan isn't sure what brought him to the mountains....scratch that he knows what brought him, he's not sure why. But when the Ragman suits decides to come out of the closet and send the wearer to somewhere, there is much choice in the matter. This time it sent him to the mountains and he has no idea why, it's not like there are many people here that need his brand of justice. But hey the suit sends him here, and he has to make the best of the bad situation. And guess what The Ragman hears voices, so that means people. Maybe they are the reason he's here, could be a pack of serial killers that hide here or something! Or the souls in the suit could have decided to mess with him again. So once he figures out where the sound is coming from, Ragman starts to head towards them to see what is going on. It's only one serial killer! And that's cause I was going for a killstreak reward! Meanwhile... aboard that first "star" which is really a small ship of some unknown alien design... the pilot is swearing in a variety of alien languages. As the communications equipment explodes in his face, his attempts to contact what's chasing him earning nothing but weapons fire. It's kinda like Star Wars, the first one... /no/ the good first one! With the smaller ship being chased by something larger. The pilot is shockingly a humanoid raccoon, who sprays the console with fire retardant chemicals and tries to locate a soft spot to land... err, crash. "Boring conversation anyway." He mutters to himself, as he grabs the controls. Anyone observing the ship's descent would almost assume that Lindsay Lohan or Mel Gibson was flying her. Well, the pilot /was/ incoherantly swearing. Especially as the ship scrapes the side of a mountain, ripping off one of it's thrusters and crash lands. It skidding to a stop in a heavily wooded section of the mountains. Of course, that's not the only thing coming down. There's the standard boiling smoke and flying sparks, shrieking metal and crashing rocks. The space ship crashing was impressive. More impressive, though, is what's coming along behind it. It looks humanoid, glossy and purple and silver--it's also thirty feet tall. Its feet are alight with fire, as is its right hand. It sweeps through the sky above the crash site and fires the built-up energy from around the hand, ripping a crater in the earth and rolling the ship downward. Then, it begins to speak in a voice that rolls off the mountains. "This is Kree Sentry 1913. You will surrender yourself for processing. You have been marked for justice." Sam swears. A lot for the average person... for Sam it's as though he's been overtaken by the ghost of Carlin. He takes off like a shot. Whoever's in the ship counts as a refugee for now and Sam's not having any of this 'arresting people on US' soil nonsense. That he's just taken off after a thirty-foot tall space robot doesn't seem to have registered. "Hey, justice this," he shouts, slamming a few energy blasts at the robot. Spider-Girl /would/ say something to Deadpool and Laura, but... Sam. Sam is not acting himself and it's weirding her /out/. "Come on, we better go make sure he doesn't blow First Contact," she calls, before she takes off after the human Cannonball. And... there he is, plowing into a giant space robot. Oh. Oh, good. This is Spider-Girl's life. Ugh. Ugh forever. While Sam gets into a fight, /she/ swings over towards the other crashed ship to see what all the hubub's about. "Knock knock?" she calls, peering around and trying to find something vaguely door-ish. "Candygram?" "No sense of style," Deadpool comments to no one in particular. "Justice this? What kind of catchphrase is that? That's like.... I don't know. So 1998." He shakes his head, unslinging his backpack and calmly digging through it. "People don't take this seriously anymore. Heroing used to be fun- then it got gritty, and serious. I /like/ gritty and serious. Batman? Batman was awesome." He produces several cylinders and clips them together, simultanesouly putting on his bandloier and combat harness. Knives and so on get strapped to convenient locations. "That whole 'Dark Knight' phase. And then when Spiderman went through his whole... thing, you know? It was all blood and kidnappings and Aunt May getting kidnapped." He sighs, going through the lengthy process of arming himself. "And the Punisher! He had that whole 90s Robocop thing where a guy got violently blown up at least once a week. Even Superman killed someone." He sighs, straightening up from his bag. He's armed to the teeth- headsets, katanas, knives, swords, pistols, grenades, more grenades, belt pouch, bandolier, two automatic weapons, battle rifle, sniper barrel, and what looks like an insanely oversized futuristic battle cannon. "Also- and I'm just tossing this out there- the odds of this happening are just so insane," he mutters, hiking up the hill towards a good firing vantage. "Oh look, we're all out for a walk and just bumble into a Kree Sentinel? I don't even know what one of those /are/, but man, this is like... Deus Ex Machina to the /max/." There is a lengthy period where Laura just sort of stares at Deadpool, puzzled, while he goes off on his ramble. At least she doesn't seem to be interested in her trying to interact with the long babbling brook of words. Eventually, she just... wanders... that way. Over there. Where-- Laura hears the ship long before anyone actually spots the thing, herself included. As such, she's already off and running an intercept well in advance, though unlike... everyone else, she pauses at the last tree before the crash site to take it all in, sniffing the air and itlting her head. She does not trust strange crashed things. Or weird robots, though Sam seems to have that handled. But even wrecked, laura doesn't recognize the craft, and given her thorough and awful training in that sort of thing, the fact she doesn't bothers her. "Careful. I don't like this. At all," she informs Spider-Girl and Sam from a bit of a distance, circling the Kree sentinel. Sam usually gets things in one shot, but... This stuff smells weird. Like Zen does. WTF? Crashing, Giant Robot Thingy...this a far cry from absorbing the souls of the evil, and running a pawn shop by day. Rory starts to mutter to himself, "Really? I'm here to fight a giant robot? Some of you guys in the suit managed to find a way to get some vodka or something." Drunk souls, be afraid be very afraid. But any way he goes charging off towards the giant robot thingy, since it looks the the crashed ship has enough people. Still not sure what he can do against giant robot thingy, but gotta do something right. Rocket smashes into the cockpit 'window' with a groan as he crashes. And for a moment, it might look like one of those suction cup stuffed animals you see in the back of cars if anyone happens to look. Rocket sliding to the floor a moment later. His gloved hands grabbing for his space helmet before the blast from the Kree Sentry causes the ship to roll down a small cliff and land upside down, the front screen shattering and spitting out a small pilot onto the ground. Of course... everyone might be focused on the giant freaking robot of doom! "You flarking Tin Moron! I told you... my record's been expunged. So much for 'Kree Intelligence'!" Rocket shouts at the Sentry, though it certainly work inside the ship. Thankfully the arrival of locals might even the odds a bit. Or at least distract the damn thing while he grabs a party favor from the shuttle. Wait... hold up a tick. There's a talking Raccoon in a space suit? Or did everyone suddenly get a contact high from Deadpool? The Sentry pauses in its attack on the ships when Sam's blasts hit it. The hits leave pockmarks in the shiny skin that seem to heal as soon as they're visible. It glances down at its body where the blasts hit and its eyes glow greenish-gold as it gains altitude again. "Attack on a Sentry is a criminal offen--bzzt-sssst. Assessment: energy weapons, Class B. Restricted weapon. Kree Sentry 1913, returning fire." It lifts a hand and blasts Sam with a column of pure red light. Sam's shielding lights up like a firestorm and the blast blows him back down into the woods and down the mountainside. He cuts a swatch through the trees, terrifies small animals, blazing all the way down... it's like a cut scene from Bambi. The Sentry returns to hover in Ragman's path. "Cease and desist. You are interfering with the lawful arrest of a wanted criminal." That. That is a raccoon. Spider-Girl is actually so stunned by this that she does not initially see Sam get sent rocketing off into the woods by the sentry. It's. It's a raccoon. "Good guy?" she hazards, pointing towards Rocket, before she turns to point towards the sentry. "And... bad guy? Okay. Got it. ...where'd Sam go?" Oh, he'll be fine. Spider-Girl cracks her knuckles before she goes sprinting for the giant robot, firing a line of webbing towards one of its ankles. "You guys ever seen Empire Strikes Back?" "Absolutely no sense of style. Charging in to bite at his ankles. When- courtesy of the incredibly awesome Lunair- I happen to have a hyperkinetic plasma accelerator cannon." He squints down the sighting mechanism, aiming for where the jubblies would be on the Sentinel's groin. Alien superrobot or not, no-one likes getting shot in the danglies. Deadpool pulls the trigger and the plasma cannon doesn't so much go 'FWHOOOM' as one might expect. It's more like mmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMNNNMMAMMANANANANANNANANANAAA KEW SPLORTZ! Deadpool hoots and hollers as the cannon fires. "Oh my GOD! This thing is AWESOME!" he screams at no on in particular. He goes running after Spider-girl. "Didja see? Didjadidjadidja-" There's a moment as Deadpool spots Rocket Raccoon disembarking from his ship. The poor guy. The poor, helpless, adorable little guy! "It's... it's like Ranger Rick's cute outer space cousin!" he cries. "And he's HURT! HANG ON, LITTLE GUY! I'M COMING!" he screams, running past Spider-girl. "For the record? I think the Return of the Jedi would be a better tactical plan against giant two-legged walkers. Jus' sayin'!" he adds, all in one breath. Okay, so. Laura may be wary of robots from outer space, but that changes when you blast her friends. Sam goes carrening off, and Laura takes a flying leap. She, at least, is quiet about it, save for the >SNKT< of handclaws when she goes for a landing on the thing's shoulders. She doesn't know a lot about alien robots. She does know that sticking adamantine claws into things repeatedly stops almost ANYTHING, though, and makes with the repeated stabbings. She'll probably hit something vital eventually, right? SNKT? Wolvie does SNKT. You need new onomotopoeia, lady. Maybe snicker-snack! or KSSH-SHNK! Uhm, giant robot thingy is actually talking to him and look people are actually fighting it, maybe he should as well. "Sorry but well the suit doesn't say the thing is evil." And he doesn't trust anything without a soul! Except for clones, clones are totally cool in his book. Anyway the suit kind of unravels itself and Rory ends up above Robot. Where he falls and aims a punch at the things head, channeling the souls for extra strength. Rocket Raccoon eyes the natives, who are rushing to his defense. Including the strange red-clad one that's rushing at him. Rocket backs up a few steps and his hands snap to his holsters, a pair of chromed laser pistols yanked free... one pointed towards the Kree Sentry and the other at Deadpool. Rocket has dealt with the insane, you might say that it's what he was born for. Or made for. Long story..... we'll sum up later. Rocket first a couple of blasts off at the Kree Sentry, though his pistols are likely no match for it's armor. As the humanoids seem to be busy with the Kree Sentry, Rocket turns to head back in shattered window of his shuttle. One blaster pistol still pointed back towards Deadpool, just in case. One has to wonder if any of the raccoon wildlife is screwing with the Sentry's sensors. "Keep it busy!" The Sentry does not, in fact, appreciate a shot to the jubblies. The weapon rips open the Sentry's mid-section, nearly removing one of its legs. "Sentry 1913, taking fire. Class A weapon detected." It sways and creaks. Its metal flesh attempts to reform but it's very slow. Then Ragman comes down on it like a ton of... well, souls. Souls are weighty, in their way, and the balance shifts. "Systems down. Require assistance," the Sentry whines. The weak leg slowly gives way and it topples, letting off a blast in the direction of the crashed ship. "Resetting weapons," it mutters. "You god---- mother------- son of a ----- ---- sucking ----faced two-dollar -----," Sam spews, shooting back out of the grave-like trench where he was buried. His adrenaline is high, he's furious, and he's more than a little... out of sorts. When he comes roaring back, his shields and fire are shades of red and blue, not gold, and he's pouring sparks like a roman candle. He's lucky in that he's not really aiming when he punches a blast of energy at the Sentry but he manages to aim for the chest, nowhere else. "Jedi? We can do Jedi!" Spider-Girl decides, firing a line of webbing off into the trees and hauling herself up and out of the way as the sentry topples over. A moment later, she comes swinging right back out, bellowing a bad Tarzan yell at the top of her lungs before she releases the line and drops straight for the robot's gun arm. A THWIP sends more webbing down to try and latch onto the weapon so she can keep a bead on it even if it swings out of the way, assuming it's a good hit. "Stop! Shooting! My! FRIENDS!" "It's ok, little buddy"! Deadpool says, waving his arms frantically at Rocket Raccoon in gestures of peace, love, and affection. He charges forward without stopping, arms extending outwards in the traditional bonds of grabby friendship. "I'll protect you forever! Look! I have this giant plasma cannon! I'll blow it up for you!" He aims the giant plasma cannon at Rocket, showing how incredibly awesome and blower uppy it is. "And we'll go on adventures and you'll teach me the ways of the forest and we'll have a hit TV show- Pooly and the Raccoon! We can be psychic detectives!" Laura can keep it busy, all right. She doesn't stick around up top-- her claws retract after a couple of strikes then she drops to the ground behind the sentry and sweeps a foot, crouching low and letting the kick go high. Lots of the robots she's encountered are based on organic anatomy. Her toe-claw >SNKT